WHY I DON'T LIVE IN ENGLAND.

MISLEADING TITLE ALERT!! *** I don’t live in England because I was actually not born there. I have actually never even been there. I’ve never been out of the country in which I reside. I don’t even have a passport. Thank you for listening to this long, boring, unimportant-to-our-post story.

Meet our likely candidate for Weirdest Snail Ever Award. It’s called Eucampe elastica! (It’s also called Akera bullata, Bulla akera, Bulla resiliens, or Aaera bullata because nobody can make up their mind)

You get the picture. I hope.

Though the shells above look really plain and boring and unexciting, the E. elastica has skin covering its shell. This is because it’s a type of sea hare, and sea hares are weird. Not only do they swim away from danger with their wings (I mean flaps of skin), they also shoot ink like a wannabe octopus.

And Eucampe elastica is a special case. Because it LOOKS LIKE A TREE. Just let that sink in . It is a little swimming tree. It’s like if broccoli could swim

I want one as a pet but I don't live in England because it's too scary because there a weird little trees swimming around your toes as you wade D:

Apparently they're also called "royal flush sea slugs," I don't know what that's about but then again I don't play poker

Here's one swimming:

https://wn.com/akera_bullata

See? It's a tree. A floppy one :| It's like one of those discs that people used to use. (Were those actually floppy?)